I give you a very (un)important question:

When making root beer floats, do you prefer to put in the ice cream first, or the root beer?

Also, have you ever brought root beer floats as a dessert and have them NOT be a hit?  It might just be the world’s most perfect food.

When I listen (which isn’t all that often–mostly I’m too busy talking, or eating Oreos), I hear stuff about Mormon women.  Some of it is good stuff.  Some of it is bad stuff.  Almost all of it makes me uncomfortable. (more…)

Can I just say that I had found a love in my heart for Andrew?  And that it had increased ten-fold when he talked about “stabbing somebody or making amazing food?”  (more…)

When I moved here, I was certain I’d see all kinds of critters on a daily basis.  Everyone told me I would.  However, I had to go to a museum to see a javelina, I’ve only ever seen the one tarantula and horned lizard, and the snakes have escaped me entirely. (I’m OK with that.)

Today, however, I saw the one creature I most wanted to see.  Behold the Gila Monster: (more…)

I have a new calling.  I’m the the new “temporal prep leader”.  Basically, it means that I coordinate the cannery trips, encourage people to get their food storage going, and field questions like, “Which one is better for purifying water- bleach or purification tablets?” (I have no idea what the answer to this question is, by the way.  If you do, please jump on in and enlighten us all.)

I blame Tracy M. for all of this, of course. It’s all her fault.  I passed along her Food Storage Wendy’s Frosty recipe to the ward, and suddenly everybody thinks I’m a food storage goddess.  Yeah, thanks a LOT, Tracy. (more…)

On my trip to SLC, I took a short little plane ride.  Sans kids.  So even though I was on the back row, which does not recline, worried about motion sickness the whole time, and right next to the bathroom, I enjoyed myself. (more…)

Call your mother.

“Hi, I’m here from Home Depot, here to install your tile.”  In walks a kid who cannot be more than 18, 21 at the most, polite and kind, and begins to set up to tile the master bathroom in my SLC house which YOU ALL WANT TO BUY.  Ahem.

I could not get over how young he was, but when he mentioned that he has a couple of kids, the 18 year old theory started to wear thin.  Although, it is technically possible…. (more…)

I have spent the last half an hour of my life with The Duggars. I expected to tell you that after giving birth to 17 children, this woman looks a little crazed.  I expected to detect a hint of the exhaustion she must feel raising her family while pregnant with number 18.  But all I can tell you is that I’m a little bit in awe of this family that seems to happy, healthy, and mostly normal. I’m sure they have their moments, and I hope to high heaven the woman employs a cleaning service, but seriously, she has an aura of contentment around her, like giving birth to 18 healthy children is the most natural thing in the world. 

And, I guess if you are getting technical, I suppose it is.

Is there a medal big enough for this woman?  By sheer force of numbers, she must qualify for Mother of the Year.  Or Decade.  Or heck, let’s just go with Century and call it a day.

Hat tip to Adam at T&S.

I don’t want Claire to be dead.  There, I said it.

I think she is, though.  Dang. (more…)

I have about 6 or 7 blog posts rolling around in my head right now.  It’s sort of creepy, really, when you are doing something, and all you can think about is “This is so bloggable.”  I need a life.  But this blog post needs to come first, before my musings about root beer floats, renters that leave pubic hair in showers, or sitting by the bathroom on the plane. (Seriously, people, the flight is an hour and a half.  You can’t hold it that long?)

It takes a village to sell a house.  I was often overwhelmed this weekend, and it wasn’t just the amount of work I had to do.  There are so many great people in my life, and they were willing to do so much, it was unbelievable.  (more…)

I think the House Sparrows are out to get me. (more…)

Standing in for The Wiz tonight as she sells her house in Utah…

First, can I just say- what gives with the faux-hawks? Jennifer, Richard- and I love Richard- but why with the hair? And were Spike and Andrew actually crying over Curly-haired Boy being gone?

Mayonnaise? Come on! It’s basic people- Dale was right- I’m a stay-at-home mom and I can make mayonnaise- that was my first clue Nikki was a goner. But, yay Stephanie! And Spike, hacking at the artichokes… Can someone tell me why Lisa is so mad? All the time? Sour grapes, man. (more…)

Ok, first, technically this is not a true curry, it’s a Garam Masala, but in the interests of making myself understood, I called it a curry. Second, The Wiz hates, hates curry, so I’m posting while she is on hiatus. Wizzers, if you’re reading, there’s nothing to see here, please just skip along. Third, this is a truly versatile Indian dish, and can be made with a myriad of different veggies, or, if you have a carnivore in the house, even with chicken or lamb. I made this for dinner tonight, and I absolutely, positively guarantee this recipe. It is the bomb! (more…)

I love my morning drive taking Princess Poop to pre-school.  Each morning the wisest of all 5 year olds imparts pearls of wisdom that this mother had heretofore never known.  For example:

Did you know that you’re not supposed to talk to strangers . . . . unless they’re in the window at McDonald’s or Wendy’s?

Did you know that if you wear tights in the summer time, bee stings won’t hurt you?

Did you know that when Jesus was a baby, he didn’t have bottles to drink from or that powder stuff to put on his bum?

Did you know that if you wear your hair “curlered” boys will think you’re pretty?

Surely no one else could have a child so wise.

At the doctor’s office the other day I picked up an article written by a renowned “Mommy Blogger”.  I, of course, had never heard of her, and this magazine didn’t ask ME to write the article, which, you know, seriously damages their street cred, but hey, let’s just go with it.

I didn’t get to read the entire article, what with the fussing, nursing, jumping up and down and constant, “Mommy lookit!” that came from my children as we waited for their pediatrician to come forth and tell me that they were both perfectly FINE, but the gist was that Blogging is the anti-scrapbooking of life.  (more…)

Baby Butch turned 8 years old last month, which means the big B word was in play at our house.  Baptism.  Normally, this would be an exciting time in any LDS home, but my little Butch has a bit of an anxiety disorder and the B word brought on nothing but stress which manifests itself as anger and defiance.  (more…)

Alert reader Jenn sent this in, hoping for some insight on how to handle this conundrum.  I would also love to hear other stories about how people have tactfully handled similar situations.  Sometimes managing the no-drinking part of Mormonism can be pretty tricky….

Dear Mormon Mommy Wars, 

We have received bottles of wine before in generic gift baskets, etc. (given to all employees) from the company my husband works for, but the bottle we received last night was a little bit different. (more…)

At the T-ball game, you slather your 6 year old with sunscreen, and slather your baby with sunscreen, as well as make sure that everybody is wearing hats. You THINK you slathered YOURSELF with sunscreen, but that evening it becomes evident that you only put sunscreen on one arm, and that you are rapidly starting to resemble a half cooked lobster who escaped part way through the boiling process. (more…)